Insomnia is like trying to meditate during a near-death experience. A strobe of memories rushing.
I tend to drive myself sleepless by first thinking about not thinking. I get in bed, make myself as comfortable as possible, and then focus on my breathing, and that only. Sometimes this works — and it’s brilliant — but usually my eyes pry themselves WIDE OPEN, I feel entirely stuck and everything’s eerily quite (suddenly, as if there were shouting and shooting and car crashes moments earlier). The past comes back jet-fast. And wow. Holy shit is it annoying.
Ideas spiral and twist, of course. A week ago, I was convinced for almost a full day (some serious overnight residue, right there) that everyone secretly hated my short stories, and that they’d planned an immaculate intervention over coffee to inform me of this. No logic in it, of course: it was just something I “knew” from a few very important seconds the day earlier, in which I’d slightly spilled, yes, coffee on the back of someone’s shirt — during which they acted like they kinda cared but kinda didn’t simultaneously. No big deal turns into the only deal. The all of it deal. Coffee dude is a straight-up fiction hater for real. Luckily sleep usually comes to me sweetly and often. I’m more of a wide-awake phase kind of guy by nature.
This was maybe my third week of full-born insomnia of maybe life, so in retrospect, it’s almost kind of cute when it comes along. If it comes to you, you’ll have long long long bittersweet thoughts, to be sure, and everything will really fall apart, and maybe nothing will seem real. And panic. And oh shit. Etc.
But other times?
Other times, it’s not so bad. Other times, it’s a soft sweet voice… “stay with me, darling. It’s getting late.” It’s quiet and it’s only you.
In my last post, I wrote about taking risks for the education you need. Then, when I started thinking about my relationship with video games, and their potential educational merit, one thing was clear: rarely does one take risks for the sake of video game “education.” » Read the rest of this entry «
What do I do? I observe things with calm fascination. I am a Critic, yes, but… I am also a Child. “How do you do it?” you patiently ask. I don’t even know. It’s like air. It just exists. The wonder of My fascinating critique just exists.
I’d like to explain some beauty to you, and then I’d like you to listen to that voice in your loins, stop being a coward, and pull forth (via vigorous clicking) the most articulate, true, and erotic Art on the internet.
First.
I am going to present to you the best song in existence. Pretentious right? Har har… NO! It is not, you philistine. It is but true. The best song in the world is “Always” by the brilliant, brilliant band Erasure. Familiar with them? No? Well, think Proust. Think Einstein. A song is as divine as God’s nectar. Where other music strikes nerves, Erasure is here to massage them. And to think — oh! — to think that this song has inspired and graced us with two succulent, golden gifts.
Click well, children:
The Best Music Video of All Time
“Always” by Erasure
A beautiful man. A Goddess. Rapture ensues. Can love bloom in the snow?
It all starts when you’re lying in bed, waiting for a bus, or counting the freckles in an office-room ceiling tile: you begin to think about the abstract. What does 4D look like? You wonder, as your mind turns into mush. Speaking of the word ‘mush’ (you then ponder), why does it sound and feel funny when I keep saying it?
Well, E3 has finally assed out, and is now over for a year.
This is good.
But hey — I used to love me some E3. Y’know, back in the days of The Wizard.
And I know some people that currentlylike E3. And it is, by all accounts, the most likely place for new games to be announced. And that’s exciting and stuff. But honestly, who would actually want to be there? Who would want to experience the corporate nerd-filth? Kids, I guess. Or maybe adults with a predilection for loud, obnoxious gaming. Or maybe you. And that’s fine… I just don’t get it. » Read the rest of this entry «
This is the message I gleaned after listening to the latest episode in Robert Ashley’s impressive podcast series titled “A Life Well Wasted”. I normally podcast-it on a commute, but the message within the podcast was so rich and fascinating that I listened in an unprecedented way: indoors, at home, and with a cup of tea. And afterwords, I couldn’t help but feel good about my gaming habit, and the weird little quest that it continually takes me on.
The episode (simply entitled “Why Game?”) begins with Ashley asking people attending the Game Developers Conference why they game. It’s quite a simple and meaningful question, really. But… wait. Why do people game?
I recently had the pleasure of reviewing one of the best adventure games in a good, long while. And if you haven’t noticed, the genre is shit, these days. You can see the fumes rising up from its dead, hot waste.
The Gobliiins series attributes dream-logic to its puzzling.
But there is hope, dear friends! For any of you that enjoy casually sniffing about environments, clicking here or there, trying to solve puzzles, and then panicking and ripping your hair out in frustration, then there are developers in France that care about making quality games for you.
The game is Gobliiins 4, and it’s quitebrilliant. Really the only problem with the thing is that the 3D graphics are mediocre at times. Pierre Gilhodes, a series creator, makes seriously beautiful handdrawn comic-style artwork, and it’s hard to see his vision translated to poor 3D rather than rich, detailed spritework. But it’s OK! I still love the game.
You see, there’s a new Retronauts podcast. Yeah, that’s right, Retronauts. If you haven’t heard, it’s one of many retro gaming podcasts, and one of the best. Or more succinctly, it satisfies a certain niche: gaming history. Old-timey gaming podcasts are a motley bunch — while some are focused on gaming history (Retronauts), others (the wonderful Retro Force Go!) are more about those beautiful, passionate moments that got many so hooked on the genre. Aside from respective niches, though, you’ll find a healthy dose of history in both of these gems, and plenty of raw emotion and laughter as well. » Read the rest of this entry «
I’ve finally made up my mind on a look for the site — some kind of cross between the cleanliness of McSweeneys and a touch of art nouveau. A banner may soon be on the way, as soon as my occasionally perfectionist self gets lazy again and gives up (love it when that happens).
As for me? Drinking copious amounts of chinese medicinal tea, trying to figure out why I can’t breath at night. There has to be a better way!
@atweetingtwit already love your house and have intense jealousy. It's cool though I'm only like 86-ish percent wanting a basement bar. 2012/01/28
If everyone could admit (and say aloud) that they are at least kinda full of shit at times, the world would glow with authenticity. Shimmer. 2012/01/21
@atweetingtwit@mopinks I remember nothing but lonely grinding and very little narrative. I need to refresh. It's been like a decade for me. 2012/01/19
