Gaming Reverie

I’m stuck, for now, with some sort of flu. It’s two-pronged and hideous. It sucks. First, there is the physical variety, as in, I can barely leave my bed. It came out of nowhere too. One night it just hit me: it hurt too badly to swallow, and I seemed to produce something like two gallons of phlegm. This is a problem.

Next. There’s this mental sickness, too (isn’t there always?), as I’m feeling that I’ve neglected too many precious friendships in the past. Sure, it made sense to let certain friendships deteriorate at the time. I usually had other things going, as well as one or two key, crucial friends that I had to put much effort into to keep afloat. But of course, years later, bedridden old me is experiencing old friends popping up. Sometimes as mere mental detritus, other times in an intense dream that permeates my thoughts throughout the day.

Poor me, right? I mean, really, we all experience this. Some of our friends may be literally dead, others have moved away and married, never to be seen again, and still others are just hard to get a hold of. So it’s not like we can do too much about these friendships in the present, aside from wax nostalgic and… and… wait!

There is a solution (for me, at least). You see, In my weak state I managed to pick up my DS and check out, finally, the Etrian Odyssey series. If you’re not familiar with it, it’s quite a niche RPG for the hardcore only — a dungeon crawler of sorts with minimal saves allowed and a game design for the masochistic.

It’s not bad, if you’re into that sort of thing. But what appeals to me about the game is its bizarre faceless, blank feeling. Its cardboard story, its laconic characters. Usually I’m story-hungry when it comes to RPGs, but the gameplay in Etrian Odyssey seems to suffice, and besides, I can make up my own story:

I’ve christened my guild “Dead-Up” — a name for a merry band of travelers that were once my friends. Of course, with the word ‘dead’ being in there, it could sound very zombie-like, very negative. But to me, “Dead-up” sounds a lot more like “1up”, or even “cheer-up!” A happy revival of now-dead friendships that could only appear in the imagination.

Sound depressing? It is. But keep reading — it’s an interesting experiment. Now, I’ve named all the group members appropriately, as well. In example: an old friend of mine was very soothing, very healing to the soul. Inevitably, she became a healer in the Dead-Up guild, staying in the back lines and taking care of the rest of us when appropriate. Another friend, a charming musician, ended up in the troubadour job class. By playing songs for the group, he helped everyone move more quickly, and with more strength.

Now, the big question: is this healthy? I’m not so sure, but if anything it’s a little less teary-eyed, and more cheerfully distracting than looking at old, weatherworn photos.

So, there’s this really odd idea folks have about companies. They think, for example, that many of them are only in it “for the money.” I, sadly, am also saddled with these thoughts when it comes to larger corporations. But apparently in the console world things tend to differ.

I’m talking about Xavix.

I ran into a Xavix “console” at the Loews hotel in Coronado bay, in the “game room.” Now, I have to admit, I let out a little chuckle when I first saw the thing, which slightly resembled an ugly, bulky, first gen green laptop. And then, regrettably, I let out a guffaw when I realized that it was another sad Wii clone, with toy sports equipment and the exact same games found in Wii Sports. Soon after, though, my snarky giggles dissipated as I realized that the money of hard-working, clueless families is being wasted on such crap, and for so much money. Each individual game costs up to eighty bucks, for example. This is rape, I said to myself. Money rape.

But then I realized that these feelings, these heated, varied emotions were all wrong wrong wrong when I saw the company website. Because they CARE. In fact, they’re philosophers as well. Allow me to display a brief snippet from their website:

The XaviX Concept – Advocating Change
Though it may be wishful thinking, if the Human world could avert war and oppression, and abandon foolishness, there would be no borders between people in countries around the world and there would be a single future for everyone. People would always be searching for the truth, enriching their knowledge, and never forget compassion for fellow man. On top of that, they would be able to solve things by means they had never thought possible. If only this could be the world to come.

See! Xavix is here for us. Because they’re smart. They don’t just give us common knowledge. In fact, they know complex things about life, such as that war is bad. Now, if you’ll allow me to continue, please read how Xavix plans to advocate change with it’s revolutionary, life-changing game console (Keep in mind that SSD is simply the parent company of Xavix):

Now, just imagine if SSD COMPANY LIMITED (SSD) could accelerate the arrival of this world.
SSD would unconsciously remove these borders placed around us – borders between people, man, and machines, and dreams and reality. This would bring everyone in the world together, and for the first time our lives and awareness would probably change anew.

In line with this basic philosophy, SSD values “human science.” SSD continually searches for new possibilities to pursue, and challenges new horizons, and continues to propose a new living environment for people.

Our products are a wonderful tool for communications between people, foster and strengthen human bonds, transcend race and borders, and make more and more people smile.

Our wish and ultimate mission is to bring happiness to people.

Wow, guys, wow. I never knew an electronic device could accelerate the arrival of this world.

Xavix — Available at a swanky hotel near you.

I’m not going back this time, kids.

I’ve recently returned from a beautiful wedding (August 16th), and a beautiful late honeymoon (three days ago), although maybe the term “elopement” would be more apt for the wedding part. The whole wedding planning thing was far too stressful for the both of us, pushing the fun parts of the whole event to some steep edge where they were likely to fall off.

Come to think of it, the word ‘honeymoon’ could use some work as well—often inferring temporary bliss, giving the scenery beyond a view similar to hibernation, one that’s static yet dull and draining. (Add to Wikipedia: Unlike other animals, the human species experiences post-marital hibernation, save for anniversaries, birthdays maybe, and the holiday season.)

Being fully in love with, married to, and integrated with Noelle and her life has seemingly transported me into a large infinite ocean, unaware that I was once carried here from a murky rocky stream. It feels great. Have you ever had this feeling? It’s remarkable. It’s freeing. My life has been dramatically changing in a beautiful way this past year, like I’d been lying belly-down on soft shag carpeting for 27 years and finally decided to turn around and look up at the ceiling and what might be above it, beyond it, inside of it. Being with someone I love and trust has helped to tone down my neurotic proclivities, as well. I feel independent and eye-sparkle happy and full of love and my old worrying self can bite me.

But then you ask, patiently, So life is great and yes, yes, but what was the wedding like?
And then I say yeah. I say that’s a pretty good question.

The wedding was one of the least stressful events of my life. And that’s saying a lot. Even going to work (or to the park even) surely involves some level of stress, and this wedding was far less taxing on the mind than even those activities. It was also one of the happiest, gently affirming, quietly beautiful times of my life. It took place in my friend Janne’s garden of a backyard in the bright, bright sun. (As in, I-hope-you-like-sweat-sun, but the heat wasn’t a detractor from bliss.)
Due to the private nature of the thing there were no family or friends (aside from the two witnesses and Janne) to be seen, but Janne gave a wonderful blessing to us, which extended to those people with us, those we know, and outward and outward until everyone was blessed. It felt good.

And the honeymoon? You ask.
Yeah, I’m getting to that.

We went to Loews Hotel in Coronado Bay, for reasons that made sense: Discount at Loews; other hotels of theirs already booked. And let me tell you: it was quite lovely on many fronts. For example, the man at the front desk didn’t have our room ready, or our discount card, so he upgraded us to a suite overlooking the bay:

The whole extended hotel stay was a robust montage of rich life, rich folk. We lounged by pools, drank delicious drinks, and everything was almost perfect. But then, you see, there was one strange occurrence that I can honestly say frightened me. Shocked me to the core.

One night we came into our room and heard loud music. The back patio door, which we’d locked, was wide open.

“All the leaves are brown/and the sky is grey…”
What. The hell.
We looked on the dresser and found a new item: a random cup with a spoon in it.
Who’s here.
And then: A bottle of champagne, two glasses, and a cheese plate.
Oh. Wait. What? Did they get the wrong room?
Then the pieces fell together.
Apparently it was a special gift from Loews to us (“complimentary”, of course, never say “free” in their world). Maybe it’s just me, but seeing the hotel back door wide open, items we didn’t know we’d be getting (without an explanatory note), and worst of all, California Dreamin’ on repeat, makes me think horror, death, murder. The Hotel Serial Killer, waiting for us. The Hotel Patrick Bateman, if you will: slicing up victims over champagne and California Girl.
But I digress. The honeymoon was simply awesome.

WTF?! What about games, you dick? You haven’t written in ages and now you’re not even writing about games and I’m feeling neglected, hurt: like you’ve never really been there for me.

So very true! And I apologize. I didn’t do much gaming this past week, although I found a rather peculiar oddity in the hotel “game room.” I’ll write about it in full tomorrow. Check back soon! It may change the face of gaming forever. “May” being the operative word, of course.

Anyway.

I’ve realized that being with someone awesome can help me be more me, more independent. At least, that’s my case with Noelle. It’s weird, I never would’ve expected it, but being with someone you love and trust gives you more space in the end. And best of all, love is continuously surrounding me, emitting from me, and making me very, very happy.

Yours,

Austin. (<– love fan.)

How could I!

How dare I!

That’s right, folks — I’ve been gone for 10 days. And it gets worse as I’m leaving for a week-long honeymoon on Wednesday.

But then, it’ll get much much better. Please keep your tears at home as I have plans for this website which may very well blow your mind. If all goes well, of course. Meanwhile, play some games and enjoy this thing called life, be it trying, painfully beautiful or saccharine-sweet. While I’m astray, I’ll continue to act as if this game has a large, loyal reader base.

This morning had a slow, bed-tossing start, but truly began with this:

• Mason jar filled with echinacea, Emer-Gen-C, ice, and plenty of water.
• Complete disregard for my computer, and consequently the internet.
• Light breeze from the open door.
• Pixeljunk Eden (the ps3 swing-fest I blogged about earlier), played to the tunes of Jens Lekman.
• Sweet, sweet filtering of the sun through the blinds, through the door.
• The kind of peaceful happiness that I thrive on.

On days like this, I want to give the world a suffocating bear hug. That is, until I step outside and realize what that world has become.

Postscript: I kid, I kid. Mostly. The world is alright in chunks, and with the right people.