May 19, 2011 § 1 Comment
Insomnia is like trying to meditate during a near-death experience. A strobe of memories rushing.
I tend to drive myself sleepless by first thinking about not thinking. I get in bed, make myself as comfortable as possible, and then focus on my breathing, and that only. Sometimes this works — and it’s brilliant — but usually my eyes pry themselves WIDE OPEN, I feel entirely stuck and everything’s eerily quite (suddenly, as if there were shouting and shooting and car crashes moments earlier). The past comes back jet-fast. And wow. Holy shit is it annoying.
Ideas spiral and twist, of course. A week ago, I was convinced for almost a full day (some serious overnight residue, right there) that everyone secretly hated my short stories, and that they’d planned an immaculate intervention over coffee to inform me of this. No logic in it, of course: it was just something I “knew” from a few very important seconds the day earlier, in which I’d slightly spilled, yes, coffee on the back of someone’s shirt — during which they acted like they kinda cared but kinda didn’t simultaneously. No big deal turns into the only deal. The all of it deal. Coffee dude is a straight-up fiction hater for real. Luckily sleep usually comes to me sweetly and often. I’m more of a wide-awake phase kind of guy by nature.
This was maybe my third week of full-born insomnia of maybe life, so in retrospect, it’s almost kind of cute when it comes along. If it comes to you, you’ll have long long long bittersweet thoughts, to be sure, and everything will really fall apart, and maybe nothing will seem real. And panic. And oh shit. Etc.
But other times?
Other times, it’s not so bad. Other times, it’s a soft sweet voice… “stay with me, darling. It’s getting late.” It’s quiet and it’s only you.
May 9, 2010 § Leave a Comment
In my last post, I wrote about taking risks for the education you need. Then, when I started thinking about my relationship with video games, and their potential educational merit, one thing was clear: rarely does one take risks for the sake of video game “education.” « Read the rest of this entry »
April 19, 2010 § Leave a Comment
Has anyone seen the film An Education? You should. It’s amazing. It also made me cry a little, think deeply about my relationships, and the way I live my life.
In other words, I have some thoughts that come straight from the cockles. So read more, friends. Read more. (And bring wine.)
March 15, 2010 § Leave a Comment
I just wrote a review for Adventure Gamers.
(With beer, I should add. And to the sounds of Jacques Brel.)
February 26, 2010 § 1 Comment
Not to sound full of Myself, My Art, or My Work,
but I am a God in my field.
What do I do? I observe things with calm fascination. I am a Critic, yes, but… I am also a Child. “How do you do it?” you patiently ask. I don’t even know. It’s like air. It just exists. The wonder of My fascinating critique just exists.
I’d like to explain some beauty to you, and then I’d like you to listen to that voice in your loins, stop being a coward, and pull forth (via vigorous clicking) the most articulate, true, and erotic Art on the internet.
I am going to present to you the best song in existence. Pretentious right? Har har… NO! It is not, you philistine. It is but true. The best song in the world is “Always” by the brilliant, brilliant band Erasure. Familiar with them? No? Well, think Proust. Think Einstein. A song is as divine as God’s nectar. Where other music strikes nerves, Erasure is here to massage them. And to think — oh! — to think that this song has inspired and graced us with two succulent, golden gifts.
Click well, children:
The Best Music Video of All Time
“Always” by Erasure
A beautiful man. A Goddess. Rapture ensues. Can love bloom in the snow?
The Best Video Game of All Time
A Delightful yet powerful unicorn. Redefining reality, subverting evil.
September 1, 2009 § 2 Comments
Hi, I’m back, hi.
Notice the patterns in my blogging as of late? Much like a dysfunctional music box, I wind up my writing enthusiasm with enthusiastic blogs — promising something good in the near future — but they’re more false starts that peter out than anything rhythmic or cohesive. And then… months pass by… and, yeah. It’s bad. I know.
This is because my writing is a little broken. But hey, it’s ok. It’s not that I’m no longer passionate about games — I am. I’m just in a very weird in-between state. I think about writing every day. Occasionally I’ll try and get freelancing work. Sporadically, I’ll work on a short story. Bimonthly, I’ll toy with writing a novel. Or glance at one of the pages. But that’s it.
So for now please think of my writing as something worthwhile that simply needs elbow-grease and maybe a good smack to get started again.
July 13, 2009 § 1 Comment
Now that all the rubbish media onslaught is mostly over, we can all relax and enjoy Michael Jackson’s work, and carefully pick out worthwhile links with tweezers. I’ve always enjoyed his bizarre connection to gaming, and the questions that arise from it: does he play to feel more like a child, or does he truly love games for the games themselves?